Gas Bags @ Blow Hards

A Personal Cosmic Game

Gas Bags Win, 9-4

Peggy Noonan

Most Cosmic Player

Scoresheet Abbreviations & Symbols
- single   = double   FO flyout   GO ground out   LO lineout   W walk   K strikeout   HR homerun   DP doubleplay   E error
1B Firstbase   2B Secondbase   3B Thirdbase   SS Shortstop   LF Leftfield   CF Centerfield   RF Rightfield   C Catcher   P Pitcher

Boxscore Abbreviations
AB At Bat    H Hit    HR Homerun    RBI Run Batted In    B AVE Batting Average

Pitching Abbreviations
IP Innings Pitched    H Hits    R Runs    ER Earned Runs    BB Walks    K Strikeouts;     W Won    L Lost

Call them what you want: pundits, talking heads, puckfists, rodomontades. The fact is when they get together in a room or on the cosmic field of play, the temperature rises from all the hot air molecules. Seduced by their own voices, it is not clear whether or not they actually hear anybody else talking. So the question arises along with the hot air: who is actually listening to them?

This particular cosmic game took over four hours to play because of all the delays instigated by the quibbling and analyzing of the participants. The Gas Bags prevailed primarily because they overwhelmed the Blow Hards offensively. One wag in the stands suggested that part of the explanation for the glut of home runs had to do with all the rhetorical wind in the stadium. Maybe, but this wind seemed only to push the Gas Bag balls out of the park. The Blow Hards didn't seem to benefit.

Not surprisingly only a few dozen masochists were left in the stands by the time of the seventh inning stretch. Most fans had already left because they were bored by the punditry.

Are you interested in creating a cosmic baseball game? Click Here

Cosmic Game Simulation- Gas Bags @ Blow Hards
Copyright © 2000 by the Cosmic Baseball Association
Published: October 23, 2000