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The Men @ The Breasts

Breasts Beat Men, 9-6

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The Breasts beat the Men in a game that comingled women known for their breasts, for some reason or another, and a selection of somewhat notorious men.

Has the human female breast always been an object of obsession for the human male? Apparently not. The male obsession with female breasts is a fairly recent phenomenon from a historical viewpoint. [The Female Breast and Sexual Attraction]. Research suggests that there is a specific geographical locus to man's breast fixation. The mass sexualized North American view of the breast does not reflect the opinion of the African or South Pacific cultures. [The Breast Site ]. The cultural context is important in understanding the effect the female breast has on individual men. Westerners assumptions about the breast is often wrong; Non western cultures have their own fetishes be it small feet in China, the nape of the neck in Japan, the buttocks in Africa and the Caribbean. Through out western history the breast has been viewed as good and bad, and by men mostly and religious men in particular. [Customer Review of The History of the Breast].

In February, 2004, when Janet Jackson exposed her right breast during a half-time ceremony at a professional football game in Houston, Texas a strong and distinctly negative reaction swept the United States. At the least condemners condemned the inappropriateness of the action. These reactions deny that there is already a considerable sexual component to the sport of sports in general. The so-called "family values movement," for example, resists and resents the sexualization of society. Nevertheless, it is a fact of everyday contemporary life. And it is an area of life that has come under scrutiny by social and scientific researchers.

In the United States, the female ideal-image stereotype, built in large part by modern mass media such as television, suggests a thin-waisted, large-breasted woman is most desired. Women, however, according to research data, overestimate how large men want women's breasts to be. Although men do prefer a relatively large breast size that is larger than women's ideal (Singh & Young, 1995; Thompson & Tantleff, 1992), women overestimate the breast size preferred by men (Thompson & Tantleff, 1992). Women are accurate, however, in their prediction of men's preference for a figure consisting of large breasts with a small waist and narrow hips (Furnham et al., 1990; Singh & Young, 1995). ["Breast & Chest Size: Ideals and stereotypes through the 1990s" by Stacey Tantleff-Dunn in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research].

(It turns out that while men prefer thinner women, lesbian and bisexual women prefer their women to be heavier and bustier. In a study entitled "Lesbian and bisexual women's judgments of the attractiveness of different body types," the authors report that "The most preferred figure was the one with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7, a heavy body weight, and large breasts. This figure was rated significantly higher than every other, and was rated somewhat higher than the heavy figure with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7 and small breasts." [Research by Cohen & Tannenbaum in Journal of Sex Research].)

Is it American men that have made American women so obsessed with their physical attributes? The obsession leads to eating disorders and unnecessary surgery. In 1994, according to data from the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons, 39,000 women made their breasts larger and 36,000 women made their breasts smaller. There are clinical and anecdotal data linking breast dissatisfaction with psychological distress, including feelings of embarrassment and self-consciousness, lack of self-confidence and diminished self-esteem, and doubts about one's femininity, as well as with the motivation to seek cosmetic breast surgery (Cline, 1990; Grant, 1996; Kaslow & Becker, 1992; Pruzinsky & Edgerton, 1990). ["Breast size and satisfaction, body image, and psychological functioning in Caucasian and Asian American college women" by Koff & Benavage in Sex Roles: A Journal of Research: April, 1998].

Our patriotism and patriarchy, and our not-so-pure puritanical hypocrisies remain strong, and difficult to overcome. No wonder Janet Jackson's breast makes so many go "tsk tsk tsk..."  There is plenty of sanctimony to go around and around.

The Men
Kobe BryantKobe BryantShortstopProfessional Basketball Player
William ClintonWilliam ClintonSecondbase American President
Larry FlyntLarry FlyntLeftfieldPublisher of Hustler magazine
Bob GuccioneBob Guccione CatcherPublisher of Penthouse magazine
Hugh HefnerHugh HefnerCenterfield Publisher of Playboy magazine
Michael JacksonMichael JacksonPitcher American Singer
D.H. LawrenceD.H. LawrenceFirstbase English Author
Henry MillerHenry MillerRightfield American Author
de SadeAlfonse SadeThirdbase French Author

The Breasts
Carol DodaCarol Doda LeftfieldAmerican Dancer
Jean HarolowJean HarlowRightfield American Actress
Janet JacksonJanet JacksonPitcher American Singer
JordanJordanCatcher English Model
Thelma OliverThelma OliverSecondbase American Actress
Caroline O'TeroCaroline O'TeroShortstop Spanish Dancer
Cnidean VenusCnidean VenusFirstbase Art of the 4th C. BCE
Laussel VenusLaussel VenusCenterfield Art of the Paleolithic Era
Willendorf VennusWillendorf VenusThirdbase Art of trhe Paleolithic Era

Box Score

Game Date
February 8, 2004
David Kapesh, Alexander Portnoy, Nathan Zuckerman
Oswald Spengler Field/Not disclosed
Partly Cloudy; 52o F.
2 hours; 38 Minutes.
Official Scorer
Philip Roth

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Personal Cosmic Baseball Game: Men @ Breasts
Published: February 8, 2004