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Cosmic Baseball Association

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SEASON 1996 UPDATE... Over sixty games are in the books as the season matures in both the Overleague and Underleague. Check out the Current Standings and pitcher, batter and team statistics.[May 28, 1996]

KERSADE WINS POETRY AWARD... Pisces pitcher Anna Marie Kersade has won the 1996 CBA Poetry Award for her short poem about her night with Beat manager/leftfielder Jack Kerouac. You can read the award-winning poem here[May 18, 1996]

NEW VIRGIN PLATES ARE PUBLISHED...The following Virgin player plates are now available online: Emily Dickinson (IF), Patty Hearst (CF), and the rookies- Jackie K. Onassis (IF), Annette Funicello (P), and Anne Sexton (P). Virgin field manager Sappho's plate has also been published. [May 15, 1996]

SEASON 1996 UPDATE...Team and player statistics through the first forty games of the season have been published; see the Current Stats plate. Team standings based on games played through May 1 are posted on the Current Standings plate. [May 1, 1996]

NEW COSMIC PLAYER PLATES PUBLISHED...The following 1996 cosmic player plates have been published: Rookie Virgin pitcher Courtney Love; Ionian outfielder George Berkeley; and Ionian thirbaseman Max Planck. [April 28, 1996]

CBA IN THE NEWS...In early April, Tom Siegfried, Science Editor of the Dallas Morning News wrote a column entitled "A Baseball League in Cyberspace Brings History of Science to Life" which favorably reviewed the CBA Website. So, first, a thank you to Mr. Siegfried for the nice words. In the concluding paragraph of his review, Mr. Siegfried writes "In other words, the CBA is something of a work of art in progress, a lively example of the value of the World Wide Web as an entertaining educational tool for science, history and the arts. And it's also evidence that sports are good for something." We are grateful for the non-sports perspective the Science Editor provides. In our opinion, sport is just a refined form of war. And while we are not exactly sure what kind of "tool" CBA is, we should probably make it a weapon to combat the evils of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. Our position has always been: less ignorance, less war; baseball at the CBA is just a metaphor. [April 25, 1996]

NEW ALPHATOWN IONIAN PLATES...Four more Ionian player plates have been published: The German astronomer/mathematician and cosmic firstbaseman Johannes Kepler; Polish-born American mathematician/logician and cosmic outfielder Alfred Tarski; British computer scientist/logician/mathematician and cosmic shortstop Alan Turing; and the pre-Socratic philosopher and cosmic pitcher Thales, who returns to cosmic baseball after a twelve year hiatus. [April 20, 1996]

PRESIDENTS ROSTER UPDATED...A team of selfless Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance (COBRA) scholars have updated the 1996 Washington Presidents Team Roster. Each presidential player has a picture and at least one hypertext outerlink in addition to a cosmic record summary. Also included is biodata detailing presidential term, political party, birth/death dates, and religious affiliation. [April 19, 1996]

WARRIORS BEAT BEATS IN 12...It took twelve innings but the struggling Wonderland Warriors beat the Dharma Beats at Memorial Stadium 2-0. General George Custer pitched all twelve innings for the Warriors and yielded no runs and six hits. General George Marshall had the winning hit and was named the game's Most Cosmic Player (MCP). For game details check out the Game Details Plate. [April 17, 1996]

REALITY BASEBALL NOTE...Well, how 'bout the Red Sox? Two wins in a dozen games. But you all know what they say about Red Sox fans: that death is the other dissapointment. The last time the Hose started a season this poorly was back in 1927 and they ended up 51-103. Manager Kevin Kennedy has simply said "I'm not going to get down and I'm not going to let these guys get down. We're going to fight our way out of this." In their first twelve games the Red Sox have committed 21 errors. [April 16, 1996]

THE NEVERENDING GAME...The Biblicals and Fictionals have played 45 (!) innings and the score remains 13 runs apiece. This has become an historic event and the CBA is in the process of preparing game data for publication. Each team has used just two pitchers, Adam and Cain for the Biblicals, and Rapunzel and Pinnochio have been to the mound for the Fictionals. How many more innings will it take to finish this game? [April 13, 1996]

THE DESIGNATED HITTER...The American League of Major League Baseball implemented the Designated Hitter (DH) rule for the 1973 season. Without reviewing the substantial literature that has studied the DH rule's impact on the reality game of baseball, it is enough to say that the DH has always been a source of great controversey. When CBA began in 1981 the then existant Sharp League used the DH, but the Flat League teams did not. When the cosmic playing leagues were restructured in the mid-1980s all cosmic teams used the DH. The time has come to rethink the CBA's use of the DH and so a Membership Referendum will be held to solicit opinion and comments regarding CBA's continued use of the DH. All members who would like to contribute their thoughts about the use of the DH are invited to contribute by whatever means available. E-mail comments can be sent to Members can also use the Member/Guest Book to transmit their opinions. Regular mail can be addressed to CBA, 9900 Georgia Avenue, Silver Spring, MD 20902. A decision on the rule will be made by the end of this season. [April 10, 1996]

COSMIC BASEBALL AD INFINITUM...Theoretically, any baseball game can go on forever and ever. The longest reality baseball game on record is the 33-inning saga played in the International League between the Pawtucket and Rochester clubs on April 19-20, 1981. That game was interrupted because of night, it was 4:07 a.m., after 32 innings, with the score tied 2-2. Pawtucket won quickly the next evening during inning 33. The longest uninterrupted game in organized baseball history occurred July 14, 1966 in the Florida State League. It took Miami 29 continuous innings before beating the St. Petersburg nine, 4-3...NOW: the Fictionals and the Biblicals of the Cosmic Baseball Association's Underleague are locked in a titanic contest that has, as of this writing, extended to 39 innings. The teams are tied at 13 runs apiece. We keep waiting for the battle to end before publishing game data. We will get more info to you as the situation unfolds. [April 4, 1996]

SEASON 1996 UPDATE...Twenty game statistics for batters and pitchers have been published and can be accessed from the Stats Plate ...Check out the updated team standings for both the Overleague and Underleague...Songbirds at Busriders (4/4/96) game data has been published...[April 3, 1996]

UMPIRE MCSHERRY...Our thoughts are with the family and friends of major league umpire John McSherry who passed away suddenly on Tuesday April 2. Umpires of any sort are an unusual breed and McSherry demonstrated some of the best qualities we expect from the men in blue. No doubt, Mr. McSherry is now in a far better position to call them as he sees them. [April 3, 1996]

COSMIC CARD COLLECTION...The Collection is being renovated and has been taken off-line. We expect to have the redesigned collection plates back on-line by early summer. Most of the link references have been updated, but it's quite possible we have missed a few. We apologize for the inconvenience. [April 2, 1996]

NEW & UPDATED PLAYER PLATES... Three new Dharma Beat player plates have been published: John Cassady the rookie pitcher who joins his mother and father on the Beat pitching staff; rookie Jay DeFeo, artist and painter of "The Rose"; and John Clellon Holmes the veteran player and chronicler of the early Beats...Woman with a Balance of the Paintland Vermeers has been updated with commentary...This month the busy scholars at the Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance hope to publish several more Virgin and Warrior player plates...Members are always invited to submit their research, anecdotal, bibliographical, or otherwise, for inclusion on the player plates.[April 2, 1996]

SEASON 1996 NOTES...The Presidents have jumped off to an early dominance of the Overleague with pure power hitting and pure power pitching. The Warriors, despite power, have no pitching, and our fighting folk, despite the wild Season Opener against the Pisces, have already fallen into the cellar. Check out the Current Standings Plate for a table of won/loss records...Updated statistical tables through the first twenty games of the season will be published on April 5, check the Stats Plate then...An interesting game is currently in progress between the Fictionals and the Biblicals of the CBA Underleague. The game is currently in the bottom of the 30th inning and the score is tied 11-11. We will keep you posted about this record-breaking cosmic ballgame as events unfold...[April 1, 1996]

SEASON 1996 IS LAUNCHED...The Warriors met the Pisces in Paradise today and the results of the 15th Season Opener are in, official and final. To use an appropriate analogy: the Warriors came, they conquered, they vanquished, they demolished, they vaporized and they otherwise beat the sox off the reigning Cosmic Champions. It was a 15-5 blowout. For details of the game, including the linescore, boxscore, and scoresheet take this link to CBA Season Opener. [March 15, 1996]

FOR DHARMA BEAT FANS...The CBA has published a special information plate about the exhibit "Rebels: Painters and Poets of the 1950s" currently on display at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. This exhibit has a variety of photographs, paintings, drawings, audio recordings covering various poets and painters associated with Beat generation the way, Happy Birthday Jack. [March 12, 1996]

COSMIC PRE-SEASON GAMES, STATS, REVIEWS...The Pre-Season has ended and in a week the regular season starts. A review of the Pre-Season activity including statistics and brief reviews has been published on the CBA Stats Plate. Quote of the moment: "Baseball is the perfect confluence of athletics and intelligence that seems to intrigue Americans." --Lawrence Frank. [March 7, 1996]

BOLEX POETICS-- New Cosmic Team...We are pleased to announce the Season 1996 Bolex Poetics. This team consists of avant-garde films made by independent filmmakers such as Kenneth Anger, Bruce Baillie, Stand Brakhage, Ernie Gehr, and Michael Snow. The Poetics have been commissioned for service in the CBA Underleague. The 1996 Bolex Poetics Official Team Roster also contains links to other sites containing information about avant-garde films and filmmakers. [March 4, 1996]

SEASON 1996 OPENING DAY...The Ides of March (the 15th) is the start of CBA's 15th cosmic season. The opening day game pits the Paradise Pisces and the Wonderland Warriors against each other at Paradise Park. James Joyce will be the starting pitcher for the Pisces and Che Guevara gets the starting nod for the Warriors. [March 3, 1996]

PRE SEASON NOTES...Not surprisingly, the Washington Presidents have canned Phil Gramm as their pitching coach. No replacement has been announced but speculation points to either Lamarr Alexander or Malcolm S. "Steve" Forbes...Dharma Beats General Manager, Ambrose Bierce is also rumored to be facing the ax as owner Memere is quite dissatisfied with the team's overall pre season performance...Lots of strange management karma this pre season. [March 2, 1996]

PAINTLAND VERMEERS ARE HONORED...The Lunacy Catapult organization, who maintain the Seven Wonders of the Web homepage awarded the Paintland Vermeers their February 29th hot spot. [March 1, 1996]

NEW CBA TEAM: PAINTLAND VERMEERS...In acknowledgment of the Vermeer craze sweeping the United States, the CBA is proud to announce the commission of the Season 1996 Paintland Vermeers. The Vermeers will compete in the Underleague this season. All the players are rookies and have been drawn from the Vermeer paintings. Some of the individual player plates are large, so be patient if you decide to take a look at them. The plates are large because of the JPG files we used to depict Vermeer's work. We tried to provide good quality graphics so that maybe just a hint of this light-master's vision might seep through the window curtain. [February 23, 1996]

CBA at YAHOO...The CBA has its own category at Yahoo which means you can use Yahoo's search engines to find information on CBA plates. Use this link to go to the CBA in the Arts:Humanities:Philosophy category at Yahoo. Or, click here to go to Yahoo's Home Page [February 21, 1996]

CBA MEMBER/GUEST BOOK...In collaboration with the people who maintain the WebAudit and WebGuestbook services, CBA has made available, online, a Member/Guest Book. Members can use the Member/Guest Book to respond to membership referendums and to convey questions or comments to CBA. Guests can request membership by using the book. Included with the book is a rating survey where visitors can provide opinions about the CBA site. Use this link to visit the Member/Guest Book to enter your comments or to view other people's entries. [February 8, 1996]

TEAM ROSTERS & PLAYER PLATES...All of the Overleague team rosters have been published and can be accessed from the Season 1996 plate. Individual player plates are being published as they are completed. This modular approach to the rosters makes the size of the rosters smaller and therefore download time should be minimized. Recent player plate additions include: Archimedes, Sir Issac Newton, Jessica Lange, Yoko Ono, Laura Dern, George C. Marshall, and Chester A. Nimitz. [February 7, 1996]

MEMBERSHIP NEWS...If any member has a baseball or cosmic baseball-related article, consider having CBA publish it on one of our WWW plates. Articles on cosmic players, coaches, or games and numbers are welcome. CBA does not pay for your writing but we will help expose it. ||| Membership growth is astronomical and thank you all who have sent in your general comments and impressions of the CBA. We have begun to notice a dramatic increase in the number of female members. ||| A membership roster is being planned but we have to check with each of you to determine if you want to be included on the roster. Send Email to or USPS mail to CBA, Suite 204, 9900 Georgia Avenue, Silver Spring, MD 20902. [February 3, 1996]

DH RULE- REFERENDUM...A membership referendum on using the Designated Hitter Rule in Season 1997 competition will be conducted in April. Members will be asked if they are for or against CBA continuing the DH. Comments on the DH Rule are also being solicited and selected comments will be published here or perhaps on a DH Rule Referendum Plate. [February 2, 1996]

SEASON 1996 DRAFT...This year's draft begins February 11 and there are already over two hundred draft candidates. Political revolutionaries and computer technology types dominate the lists this season. Members and friends are encouraged to send in their nominations; the closing deadline is 12:01 AM on February 11. [February 2, 1996]

SEASON 1995 ARCHIVE PLATE...The Season 1995 Archive Plate has been published. It includes links to all pages archived from last season including the team rosters, selected cosmic games, final statistical summaries of the Overleague teams, and scoresheets from the Cosmic Series and the Underleague Championship games. [January 28, 1996]

NEW CBA TEAM- PRANKTOWN BUSRIDERS...The Cosmic Baseball Association announces the creation of a new cosmic playing team: the Pranktown Busriders. The Busriders are composed of individuals who are related in one way or another with the Merry Pranksters of the 1960s. Check out the official 1996 Pranktown Busriders Roster and meet this "Weird load" of mind adventurers. [January 26, 1996]

VESTAL VIRGINS 1996 ROSTER PUBLISHED...The Virgins have a new field manager, Sappho, former Virgin catcher; and several rookies including new catcher Uma Thurman and pitchers Ann Sexton and Sylvia Plath. Check out the other players on the Virgins Roster. [January 25, 1996]

DHARMA BEATS 1996 ROSTER PUBLISHED...The Season 1996 Official Dharma Beats Roster has been published. The Beats boast four rookies including writer/poet/webmaster Levi Asher (2b), artist Jay DeFeo (rf), writer James Ryan Morris (ss), and the son of Neal Cassady, John Cassady (p). Kerouac's boys and girls, who finished two games over .500 last season hope to do even better this year as they ride a wave of renewed interest in Beat literature and culture. [January 23, 1996]

WINTER DRAFT...If you have an individual you would like to see play cosmic baseball, please send in a nomination by February 1, 1996. Include biographical information and a summary of why you think the individual should become a cosmic player. The Winter Draft takes place February 11. [January 21, 1996]

SEASON 1996 ROSTERS...Over the next several weeks the official team rosters for this season's teams will be published here at CBA's World Wide Web site. See the Season 1996 plate for a list of the available rosters. Individual cosmic player plates will be published as the research for each player is completed. All members and visitors are invited to contribute information about any of the cosmic personnel (players, coaches, etc.). Your contributions can be sent to [January 20, 1996]

WONDERLAND WARRIORS 1996 ROSTER... The Wonderland Warriors return to the cosmic Overleague this season. Check out the official Season 1996 Wonderland Warriors Roster. Composed of notable individuals from the military field, the Warriors are expected to be very competitive this season. The team consists of eleven rookies including Major Richard Meadows, and Generals George Marshall and George Meade. Veteran secondbaseman General Omar Bradley and veteran centerfielder General Douglas MacArthur are also on the team. [January 19, 1996]

SEASON 1996...CBA's fifteenth cosmic playing season begins. Check out the Season 1996 Plate for the league configurations and the rosters. The Paradise Pisces Roster has been published. CBA's newest team, the Vienna Songbirds, have an official roster. Look for the rest of the rosters over the next four weeks. [January 15, 1996]

NEW TEAMS BEING DESIGNED...Scholars at the Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance are working on two new teams for competition in the Underleagues. The Emmatown Goldgloves will represent distinguished and notorious political anarchists and the New Proven Novellas are being developed from distinguished individuals involved in the creation and management of NetWare, a local area network operating system from Novell, Inc. More on these teams as they develop. [January 10, 1996]

LEAGUE TINKERING...There have been a few changes, some surprising, with regard to the structure of the cosmic Over and Under leagues. The Postmasters will be playing in the Oriental wing of the Underleague instead of the Overleague, despite winning the Underleague pennant last season. To make room for the Postmasters the Pianoburg Pianists have been deactivated. [January 5, 1996]

HAPPY NEW YEAR...[January 1, 1996]

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CBA News & Information Archives
Updated: June 1, 1996
Archived: August 1, 1997
Copyright © 1996 by the Cosmic Baseball Association