Archived News & Information: October, 2001 Archived October 31, 2001

October 30, 2001
Cosmic Universal Series
Woodsox vs Warriors in the 20th Cosmic Universal Series
Link to 2001 CUS Plate
This best-of-seven games series commences each season on Thanksgiving Day. The series pits the best of the Overleague against the winner of the Subleague Series. The winner of the Cosmic Universal Series is named the best cosmic baseball team for the season. The 20th Cosmic Universal Series (CUS) begins this season on November 22, 2001. The Wonderland Warriors (Link to Record/Team Stats)will represent the Overleague. The Warriors have twice before been to the championship series (1987, 1989) and won the series both times. The Psychedelphia Woodsox (Record/Team Stats) first appeared in the series last year when they lost to the Pisces.

The Alphatown Ionians own the records for most CUS appearances (6) and most championships won (5).

Visit the Cosmic Universal Series plate for more information.

October 28, 2001
Season 2002 Rookies
Four Enter Cosmic Rookie Draft Pool
An Islamic philosopher, a German historian, an American actress and a Japanese general have all jumped into the Season 2002 Cosmic Rookie Draft Pool.

  • Sayyid Qutb

    Born in Egypt Qutb began his professional career as a literary critic. However, he became disenchanted with the political and cultural direction his country was moving in and became a radical Islamic fundamentalist, eschewing the culture of the West and its so-called modernism. A trip to the United States in 1949 sharply reinforced his attitude that Western culture was too materialistic to be a moral culture. Qutb was jailed several times by the Egyptian government. He was eventually executed as a political criminal by the Nasser-led government in 1966. His books, many written in prison, have greatly influenced the development of Islamic fundamentalism.

  • Oswald Spengler

    The German historian/philosopher Spengler is most well known for his 2-volume book Der Untergang des Abendlandes (Literally, "Twilight of the Eveninglands" but translated into English as Decline of the West.) Spengler's view was that cultures are organic entities that pass through several stages. Western civilization, he surmised between the two so-called "world wars" of the 20th century, was in its final hours.

  • Maura Tierney

    One of the icons of the American culture is its television and movie industry. The Boston-born actress, Maura Tierney, has achieved some success in both television and the movies. She showed talent in the popular TV comedy series News Radio and more talent in the hit medical drama series ER. In the movies she did a fine job portraying likable mother and ex-wife in the Jim Carrey vehicle, Liar, Liar.

  • Tojo Hideki

    Hideki Tojo, is a former leader of Japan, and a convicted war criminal. He was executed by a military justice court for crimes he committed against humanity. The son of an army general, Tojo graduated from the Japanese military academy when he was 21 years old. At 31 he completed his studies at the nation's army war college. He went on to become an influential member of Japan's military-industrial complex. After a series of significant positions in the military he became, in July 1940, Japan's minister of war. Tojo became Japan's Prime Minister in October 1941 and led the nation when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. When the war began to go badly for his country, Tojo, on July 19, 1944 resigned from the government. A little more than a year letter, on September 2, 1945, with defeat certain after the atomic bomb explosions over Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Japan surrendered. On September 11, 1945 Tojo tried to kill himself. He was later tried, condemned and sentenced to death by an International Military Tribunal. Tojo was hung on December 23, 1948.

October 18, 2001
Season 2001 Subleague Series
Woodsox Win Subleague Series. Sweep Cars in 3 Games.
Link to Woodsox 2001 Roster The Psychedelphia Woodsox overwhelmed the Phaetown Cars with pitching in this 3-game sweep of a series. Could the differences between the talent in the Middleleague and the Underleague be so stark? Probably not. In a short series anomalies can occur.

In any case the Woodsox have earned the right to play the Overleague's Wonderland Warriors in the Cosmic Universal Series (CUS). The best-of-seven-games CUS begins Thursday, November 22 (Thanksgiving Day). See you there.

Link to Oscar Janiger Player Plate
Oscar Janiger

Most Cosmic Player (MCP)
Game One. Monday October 15. Cars @ Woodsox.
Woodsox Win Game One: 6-3.

Martin Luther King
M.L. King

Most Cosmic Player (MCP)
Game Two. Tuesday October 16. Cars @ Woodsox.
Woodsox Win Game Two: 4-3.

Lou Gottlieb
Lou Gottlieb

Most Cosmic Player (MCP)
Game Three. Wednesday October 17. Woodsox @ Cars
Woodsox Win Game Three: 5-2.
Woodsox WIN SERIES, 3-0 Games


October 15, 2001
Season 2001 Subleague Series
Subleague Series Begins: Phaetown Cars versus Psychedelphia Woodsox
The Season 2001 Subleague Series begins this evening in Psychedelphia amid restrained excitement. The restraint is the result of the encroachment of real world events that have startled and worried many. The Subleague Series, originally scheduled to begin on October 1, was postponed as a result of the September 11 tragedy in the United States.

The Subleague Series pits the best of the Underleague against the best of the Middleleague. The winner of the best-of-five games series goes on to meet the best of the Overleague in a best-of-seven games Cosmic Universal Series (CUS). The CUS begins on Thanksgiving Day, November 22.

The Psychdelephia Woodstockings (92-70) had the best record in the Cosmic Baseball Association and took the Middleleague pennant for the second straight season. All the more remarkable is the fact that the team was drenched in controversy for most of the season. Longtime field manager John Lennon indicated he was tired of managing and wanted to play the game. Perhaps dissension and disruption is what makes this team click, befitting the team's thematic origins.

The Phaetown Cars, a rookie club in the Underleague, surprised everyone with its quick start last spring. Surprise turned into utter astonishment as the team maintained its discipline and hovered at or near the top of the standings all season long. The last rookie team to make it to the Cosmic Universal Series was the 1996 Pranktown Busriders. Handicappers aren't giving the Cars (2001 Stats)a whole lot of chances to win it all. The Cars are going to have to find a way to get by the absolutely dominant pitching of the Woodsox if they hope to climb to the very top of the cosmic baseball universe.

October 9, 2001
Cosmic Baseball Anniversary
Cosmic Baseball Notes 20th Anniversary
1981-2001The Cosmic Baseball Association was founded October 9, 1981 in Los Angeles, California. Originally a small collective of artists and poets with diverse interests the organization has grown to include thousands of friends, fans and members. For more details on the history of the Cosmic Baseball Association please visit the Cosmic Baseball Chronology Plate.

Individual Cosmic Baseball Players
Career Statistics
Most Cosmic Seasons 20 Jimmy Carter, Dwight Eisenhower
Most Innings Pitched 3,962 Jimmy Carter
Most Career Wins 236 Jimmy Carter
Most Career Lost 245 Jimmy Carter
Most Career Strikeouts 2,509 Jimmy Carter
Most Career Walks 1,463 Jimmy Carter
Lowest Career ERA* 2.88 Sergei Eisenstein
*Minimum 10 Seasons
Most Cosmic Seasons 19 Ernie Gehr
Most Career At Bats 8,543 Omar Bradley
Most Career Hits 2,310 Omar Bradley
Most Career Home Runs 337 Omar Bradley
Most Career RBIs 1,096 Omar Bradley
Highest Batting Avg** .321 William Makepeace Thackeray
**Minimum 10 Seasons

Source: Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance (COBRA)
Last Updated on 10/09/2001

October 6, 2001
Reality Baseball
Homeric Antimodes
Barry BondsWashington Post sports columnist Thomas Boswell, usually a keen observer of the game, concluded a column written the day before Barry Bonds broke the all time major league baseball home run record. Boswell wrote that being the homerun king is "not quite what it used to be." Using a form of statistical alchemy, Boswell concluded that the contemporary home run record is akin to Rogers Hornsby's 1924 batting average of .424. Somehow, Boswell finds a way of minimizing Bonds' feat [*]

In an ESPN website column, Pulitzer Prize-winning author David Halberstam, usually a keen chronicler of contemporary events, asks in a mid-July column, "Will he do it [break Mark McGwire's homerun record]? And, equally important, will we care that much if he does? Can we, with the help of today's highly paid spin doctors, learn to love Barry Bonds? Can he learn to love us?" Halberstam, like much of the massed media, doesn't like Barry Bonds.[**]

Aloof, combative, elitist, defiant, selfish...these are some of the characteristics associated with baseball player Barry Bonds. Notice, of course, is always taken that he is perhaps the best all-around baseball player of his generation. Three NL Most Valuable Player Awards, nine All-Star Games, eight Gold Glove Awards...Bonds is a supremely talented baseball player. Baseball talent is in his blood. His father, Bobby Bonds was a well-respected major leaguer who holds the National League record for most homeruns in a season as a team's leadoff batter (11, for San Francisco in 1973). His cousin, on his mother Pat's side is Reggie Jackson, an October home run hitter of remarkable caliber. Bonds' godfather is the famed baseball great Willie Mays. He is part of what is sometimes referred to as baseball royalty. But people don't seem to like him.

Bonds' reputation for being a creep was in part sculpted off the playing field during a six year divorce battle. In a case that made it to the California Supreme Court, Bonds was seen as a rich man taking advantage of a poor lovesick woman. He wasn't much liked by his teammates in Pittsburgh where he came up as a rookie in 1986. That season he led all first year players in homeruns, runs batted in, stolen bases and walks.

So it is a question of incredible talent buttressed by a problematic personality. The massed media paints a picture of an individual more concerned with himself than with the team and by metaphorical extension Bonds has become an anti-social anti-hero. Someone wrote that Bonds' is our generation's Ty Cobb. Our heroes, the great legends and epics proclaim, cannot be anti-social. And given the current crisis of terrorism, anti-social anti-heroes aren't desirable, in baseball or anywhere else.

Bonds' problems with his public image remind us of Roger Maris' difficulties as he pursued the home run record in 1961. We know from Maris' ordeal that there is a distinction to be made between image and reality. We also know that the need to know is often stronger than the need for crystal clear accuracy. Like winning at all cost, knowing at all cost can lead to dishonesty. Still, we like our mythology.

Like Odysseus, that "flower of the Achaean chivalry," Barry Bonds will not be tempted by the seductions of the massed Sirens. Reporters describe Bonds as being psychologically tight [***] and that makes us think that he has been strapped to the mast to prevent himself from becoming corrupt.

Or, maybe there is some truth to the negative image. On the night that Bonds broke the individual home run record his team lost the game and were disqualified from post-season play. And, that same night, the Seattle Mariners broke the American League record for most games won in a season. A team effort award. Bonds represents the individual in baseball. Maybe that's why the collective despairs of him. But things change. We remember another great individual baseball player who still holds a record set in 1941. Remember the splendid splinter? Ted Williams still holds the modern baseball era's record for single season batting average (.406). He also used to spit on the fans. Barry Bonds, who now holds the all-time single season homerun record, will also become heroic. It just takes time and perspective.


*Boswell has to be given credit for attempting to use numbers and statistics in the attempt to make the case about Bonds' home run feat being something less than remarkable. But using alchemical mathematics to denigrate the raw feat is disingenuous and annoying to baseball fans. Bonds' feat is remarkable in any era. Even if we accept the massed media depiction of Bonds as a creep, that has nothing to do with his talent, right? [Return]

**Halberstam is at least more out in the open of his dislike of Bonds. Halberstam writes that Bonds has "also been one of the most difficult [players] to like. The stories have always been quite shocking. They are not, it should be noted, about a distant, somewhat aloof, rather private young man, who keeps himself apart from the amiable pre-game byplay that can make baseball a good deal of fun. Rather they are about unprovoked, deliberate, gratuitous acts of rudeness towards all kinds of people, other players, distinguished sportswriters. They are of a handsomely rewarded young man of surpassing talent, going out of his way to make the ambiance in which he operates as unpleasant as possible, and to diminish the dignity and pleasure of other men (and now women) who also work for a living, even if their talents are somewhat smaller than his. This is about nothing less than the abuse of power -- he has it by dint of his abilities, and he uses his power to make others' lives more difficult and less pleasant. Barry Bonds has played the game about as well as it has ever been played -- the comparisons go back to his godfather, Willie Mays-- but he has shown remarkably little pleasure in his accomplishments. He has a rare capacity to take something that should be pleasant -- playing a big-time sport at a supreme level -- and to make it unpleasant. " [Return]

***Dave Kindred wrote in The Sporting News (July 30, 2001) "There's something about Barry Bonds. There's a tightness about him, a gathering of strength and mass that is different from that in other great baseball players. He moves swiftly and surely, and yet at 6-2 and 210 pounds reminds us more of a tight end than of an outfielder fleet and graceful. The bat held 2 inches from the knob, the big man taking a little man's compact swing, Bonds hits more home runs by accident than most players hit by intent. The tightness is psychological, as well. Bonds wears a silver cross in his left earlobe, even when playing, combative and defiant of convention. And while Bonds well knows the $3,000 recliner [by his lockers]is a sitting-duck metaphor for journalists parachuting in to do another gifted-jerk piece, the easy chair still sits in front of his private TV, the furniture practically shouting, 'I'm Barry Bonds and you're not.' " [Return]

October 1, 2001
Cosmic Baseball Season 2001
Regular Cosmic Playing Season Concludes
Link to Season 2001 Main Plate The regular phase of Cosmic Playing Season 2001 has concluded. Delayed a week by the real world tragedies that took place on September 11 all cosmic teams completed their schedules yesterday. The Wonderland Warriors won the Overleague pennant. The Psychedelphia Woodsox won, for the second season in a row the Middleleague pennant and the rookie Phaetown Cars team bagged the Underleague flag. The Woodsox and the Cars will meet in the best-of-five games Subleague Series which will begin October 15. The winner of the Subleague Series will play the Warriors in the 20th Cosmic Universal Series. The Cosmic Universal Series is a best-of-seven games contest commencing on Thanksgiving Day.

Pitching Department Leaders

  • Most Wins- Timothy Leary (Woodsox), 20

  • Best Earned Run Average- Richard Dixon (Pre-Raphaelites), 2.92

  • Most Strikeouts- Vladimir Nabokov (Minstrels), 164

Batting Department Leaders

  • Best Batting Average (min. 500 ABs)- Frederic Chopin (Pisces), .318

  • Most Homeruns- Henrietta Crosby (Mothers), 65

  • Most Runs Batted In- Sinclair Lewis (Bohemians), 135

Post Season Schedule

  • Subleague Series Best-of-Five Games Series between Middleleague Champion and Underleague Champion. Begins October 15.

    Woodsox versus Cars

  • Cosmic Universal Series Best-of-Seven Games Series between winner of the Subleague Series and the Overleague Champion. Begins Thanksgiving Day.

    Warriors versus to be determined
Final Standings
Overleague Won Lost GB Win%
Warriors 85 77 - .525
Pisces 84 78 1 .519
Beats 82 80 3 .506
Presidents 81 81 4 .500
Ionians 77 85 8 .475
Virgins 77 85 8 .475
Middleleague Won Lost GB Win%
Woodsox 92 70 - .568
Busriders 86 76 6 .531
Poetics 85 77 7 .525
Superbas 80 82 12 .494
Dragons 79 83 13 .488
Bohemians 78 84 14 .481
Vanguards 75 87 17 .463
Capitalists 73 89 19 .451
Underleague Won Lost GB Win%
Cars 88 74 - .543
Velocitors 86 76 2 .531
Mothers 86 76 2 .531
Insects 86 76 2 .531
Framemakers 82 80 6 .506
B'Stormers 80 82 8 .494
Minstrels 78 84 10 .481
P.R.B. 76 86 12 .469
Anarchists 76 86 12 .469
Numbers 76 86 12 .469
Italics indicates New Team
Season 2001 Stats



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Archived: October 31, 2001
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