Archived News & Information Archived July 31, 2001

News Items
Current Standings
as at July 30, 2001
Overleague Won Lost GB Win%
Pisces 62 53 - .539
Warriors 60 55 2 .522
Beats 60 55 2 .522
Presidents 57 58 5 .496
Ionians 54 61 8 .470
Virgins 54 61 8 .470
Middleleague Won Lost GB WinPct
Busriders 64 51 - .557
Woodsox 63 52 1 .548
Poetics 60 55 4 .522
Superbas 57 58 7 .496
Dragons 56 59 8 .487
Bohemians 56 59 8 .487
Vanguards 53 62 11 .461
Capitalists 52 63 12 .452
Underleague Won Lost GB WinPct
Cars 62 53 - .539
Mothers 62 53 - .539
Velocitors 61 54 1 .530
Insects 61 54 1 .530
Framemakers 57 58 5 .496
B'Stormers 56 59 6 .487
Minstrels 55 60 7 .478
Anarchists 53 62 9 .461
P.R.B. 52 63 10 .452
Numbers 52 63 10 .452
Italics indicates New Team
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July 26, 2001
Website Operations
Xoom Out
Xoom Out

NBCi/Xoom Web Servers
Will Be Permanently Offline

It has been a little over a year since the Cosmic Baseball Association migrated part of the website to what was once That was during the early days of the website's Diaspora period. Xoom eventually got gobbled up by By that point, late last Summer, we had already re-migrated to several other web hosting facilities and basically used Xoom/NBCi as a backup/mirror site. NBCi, in an email to its so-called members, announced that it would no longer be in the business of providing website services. Actually, the email began this way:

NBCi is in the process of making certain changes to our portal offering that may affect the way you use the site. We are making these modifications in light of recent changes in the Internet advertising and financial markets. (NBCi email message of July 18, 2001.)
The message went on to inform the members that effective July 18 uploads to the NBCi servers would be stopped. And finally, we were informed that "At the end of July, [NBCi] anticipate[s] that you will no longer be able to view member pages."

Fortunately most of the Cosmic Baseball Association's website has been recollected and can be found at However the search engines will continue to list xoom/nbci links for sometime. We apologize for any inconvenience this creates for our visitors.

Earlier Related News Items

July 23, 2001
Staff Announcement
Amanda Blue- Manager of Membership Operations
Amanda Blue

The Cosmic Baseball Association is pleased to announce the appointment of Ms. Amanda Blue as the new Manager of Membership Operations.

Ms. Blue was born and raised in Staunton, Virginia. Last May she graduated from Georgetown University with a degree in Social Science. As manager of CBA's membership operations, Amanda will be spearheading the recently inaugurated membership drive.(see article below)

Amanda can be reached via email at

July 9, 2001
Cosmic Baseball Association Membership
Three New Membership Plans Unveiled
Click for Membership Information

At the June 28th meeting of the Board of Directors in Avignon, a resolution instituting a 3-tiered paid membership program was ratified. The specific vote count detailing which directors were for and which directors were against the resolution has not been released. But we do know the vote was not unanimous. The new paid membership plans are now in effect thus ending more than a decade of the optional dues membership program.

Depending upon the selected membership plan, new members will receive a variety of "membership benefits" including Cosmic Baseball Association Logocaps, Casey at the Bat T-Shirts, Free Personal Cosmic Baseball Games and automatic Cosmic Baseball Player status. Current members who elected not to pay annual dues will not be required to pay annual dues until January 1, 2002.

July 4, 2001
Overleague Game Report
Dharma Beats @ Vestal Virgins
Click for Game Report

The tension between the boys club known as the Beat Generation and the women associated with those boys has become well-documented. The Beat boys are variously labeled as misogynistic and homosexual thereby establishing a stereotype of gender exclusion.

The chroniclers of the women's movement inside the Beat Generation have demonstrated that, like the male stereotypes, the women of the Beat generation are difficult to typecast. Joyce Johnson's Minor Characters, Carolyn Cassady's Off the Road and Joan Haverty's Nobody's Wife are just three examples of reports by different types of women associated with the men of the Beat vortex in the 1950s.

The result of this particular cosmic baseball game affirms the truth of the notion that women played a significant and important part in their interaction with and influence on the men of the Beat Generation. In keeping with this season's theme of re-emergent matrifocality, the Vestal Virgins, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of interesting women outplayed the Dharma Beats, the CBA's team of Beat Generation personalities, primarily because of the strong arm of Virgin pitcher Sylvia Plath, the game's Most Cosmic Player (MCP)

Related Links

July 1, 2001
Cosmic Baseball Player
Paul Oakenfold Hits for the Natural Cycle
Paul Oakenfold

One of the rarest offensive feats in a baseball game is hitting for the cycle. This is accomplished when a batter hits a single, double, triple and a homerun in one game. A "natural" cycle occurs when the batter gets the hits in natural or sequential order (single, first at bat; double, second at bat; triple, third at bat; homerun, fourth time at bat.) In the history of Major League Baseball only a dozen players have hit for the natural cycle. Two cosmic batters have hit for the cycle (see note below) but no cosmic player had ever accomplished the natural cycle feat, until today.

Delta Dragon rookie Paul Oakenfold became the first cosmic baseball player in our history to hit for the natural cycle. It happened during a Middleleague cosmic baseball game played between the Dragons and the Bolex Poetics in Bolexia.

Oakenfold, in the number two spot of the Dragon's batting order came to bat for the first time in the top of the first inning. Poetics starting pitcher Maya Deren served up a down the middle fastball that Oakenfold ripped into left field for a single. Oakenfold came up again in the third inning and hit a Deren curveball deep into center field that eluded outfielder Harry Smith. Oakenfold appeared at the plate again during the fifth inning. By this time, Deren was taking a shower in the clubhouse and Bolex reliever Bruce Conner was on the mound. Oakenfold hit Conner's first pitch into the corner of right field where it caromed off the right-angled walls for a few seconds. By the time rightfielder Hollis Frampton got the ball thrown into the infield, Oakenfold was standing tall at third. In the eighth inning, with Conner still on the mound, Oakenfold came to homeplate for his fourth at bat. Of course, everyone knew what was at stake, that explains why Poetics pitching coach Ken Kelman took a trip to the mound to caucus with his veteran pitcher and veteran catcher, Bruce Baillie. Oakenfold worked the count to 2-2 and then fouled off three straight fastballs. On the next pitch, Oakenfold unloaded with a massive swing and connected with another Conner fastball...see you later, he dialed 8 and in the process completed the cosmically historic natural cycle. Even the partisan home crowd of Poetics fans stood up and roared their approval. The PleasureDome sound system appropriately played a Balearic-inspired techno tune as Oakenfold made his triumphant circuit. (The management of the Bolex Poetics are to be commended for their classy performance.)

Cosmic Baseball officially recognizes one other category of Cycle Hitting called the Full Natural Cycle. No one in the near-20 year history of cosmic baseball has ever achieved the feat that requires a Natural Cycle plus an initial base on balls. (There are some COBRA Scholars who have petitioned for the recognition of what they call the Universal Natural Cycle which includes the Full Natural Cycle augmented by an initial Hit-By-Pitch.)

Paul Oakenfold, a rookie infielder with the Delta Dragons, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of musicians, is recognized globally as a pioneer in the field of electronica acid trance music.

The first cosmic player ever to hit for the cycle was Frank Frohb, an original star thirdbaseman for the Paradise Pisces. Frohb completed his cycle in a game played between the Pisces and the Vestal Virgins on July 20, 1986. Oakenfold's fellow Dragon player, firstbaseman Bob Dylan became the second batter to complete the feat on July 2, 1992 when the Dragons played the Eden Bohemians.    [Return]



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Archived: July 31, 2001
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