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Archived: May 31, 2004
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Season 2004
Cosmic Baseball Teams


2004 Cosmic Player Plates

Robert Burton

Thomas Howie


Alice de Forest Sedgwick


***Special Notice***

Buyers Beware!

Effective December 31, 2003 the online store known as Cosmic Baseball Collectibles will cease processing orders for customers. While there may still be some "active links" to CBC Store webpages, it will not be possible to process new customer requests. We believe all current customer orders to have been completed. If you are an existing customer and have a customer service need please send an email to:
Store Manager (

Season 2004 Begins March 15
Link to Season 2004 Main Plate
Cosmic Game: Pisces @ Warriors
May 31, 2004
Link to Game Report
This was a pitching duel, all the way until the top of the tenth inning when Pisces rightfielder and notorious organized crime mobster Bugsy Siegel smacked a William Calley fastball into the left field seats. One run would have been sufficient to win the game, as it turns out. However, three other Fish were perched on the bases when Siegel hit his homerun. It was a glorious grandslam and it gave the Pisces the win over the Warriors.

Cosmic Game: Poetics @ B'Stormers
May 24, 2004
Link to Game Report
Infamous filmmaker Todd Browning threw out the first pitch in this game between avant-garde filmmakers and freaks of nature. The freaks beat the poetic filmmakers primarily because of a seven single fourth inning. Poetics shortstop Ernie Gehr went 3 for 5 with a double, one run batted in and one run scored. B'Stormers reliever Charles Stratton (aka Tom Thumb) hit a solo homerun in the seventh inning; Stratton also served up three earned runs from the mound. The fielding errors by Dziga Vertov and Harry Smith of the Poetics didn't help matters. All in all the pitching was just fair on both sides. Both of these teams dwell near the basement of the Lowerleague. Both squads need to step up their game.

Link to Game Report

Cosmic Game: Presidents @ Ionians
May 17, 2004
Link to Game Report
On April 26 these two teams played a close game and at that time, the Ionians won. This time around the Presidents win the contest. They used four pitchers to get the job done and the starter, Abraham Lincoln did not figure in a decision statistic. George Walker Herbert Bush got the win and Jimmy Carter got a rare save. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud took the loss by serving up seven earned runs in seven innings.

The Ionians exploded for five runs in the second inning, knocking starter Lincoln out of the game. But the Presidents on the strength of 15 hits, including homeruns from Madison and T. Roosevelt played the better offensive game. With a combined five errors, two by Truman at secondbase, this wasn't a particularly beautiful game in the field for either squad.

Link to Game Report

Thomas D. Howie Cosmic Player Plate
May 13, 2004
Link to Major Thomas Dry Howie Cosmic Player Plate
U.S. Army infantry Major Thomas Dry Howie died near the French town of St. Lo a day before that town was taken from the German Army. The citizens of St. Lo have honored Major Howie with a memorial and he has become known as the "Major of St. Lo." Howie was also a husband, father and teacher who the record indicates was admired and respected by those that came into contact with him. There is speculation that he was the model for the character played by Tom Hanks in the movie Saving Private Ryan.

Howie was selected in the first round of the 2003 Rookie Draft by the Wonderland Warriors.

Link to Thomas Howie 2004 Cosmic Player Plate

Cosmic Game: Pharmers @ Dragons
May 10, 2004
Link to Game Report
Drugs and music. There's a novel intersection. Harry Anslinger, the first commissioner of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics understood the relationship between drugs and music when he targeted jazz musicians as major marijuana users in the late 1940s. Anslinger's plan to round up and bust all the jazz musicians never came to pass, but his plan illustrates the point that drugs and music have an intimate history.

Dragon pitcher and beautiful musician Laura Nyro outlasted Pharmer pitcher and erectile dysfunction medication Viagra to get the win.

Link to Game Report

Cosmic Game: Ionians @ Virgins
May 3, 2004
Link to Game Report
Reality baseball has not opened its arms to women. There was the case of Margaret Gisolo who played in the American Legion Junior League in 1928. In 1929 the American Legion banned women from playing baseball. In the 1950s Toni Stone, Connie Morgan and Mamie "Peanut" Johnson played baseball in the Negro Leagues but that had to do with the post-integration talent drain of Negro League players to Major League Baseball. In 1994, Ila Borders became the first woman to pitch a complete game for a college team but her success in professional baseball was never realized. Women have been encouraged to play softball, but not baseball.
A persistent thorn in the side of women trying to play baseball is softball...The good is often the enemy of the best. It is good for women to play softball. But if playing softball perpetuates the prejudice that women cannot or should not play baseball, then softball is indeed the enemy of the best. --"Women Playing Hardball" by Leslie Heaphy (see Baseball and Philosophy edited by Eric Bronson.)
Cosmic baseball, however, has long encouraged the playing of the sport by women. The Vestal Virgins (created 1982) are a testament to cosmic baseball's support of women playing baseball.

Link to Game Report

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Archived: May 31, 2004