Link to CBA Home
Archived News & Information
Archived: April 30, 2004
     Other News...
Season 2004
Cosmic Baseball Teams


2004 Cosmic Player Plates

Robert Burton


Alice de Forest Sedgwick


***Special Notice***

Buyers Beware!

Effective December 31, 2003 the online store known as Cosmic Baseball Collectibles will cease processing orders for customers. While there may still be some "active links" to CBC Store webpages, it will not be possible to process new customer requests. We believe all current customer orders to have been completed. If you are an existing customer and have a customer service need please send an email to:
Store Manager (

Season 2004 Begins March 15
Link to Season 2004 Main Plate
Cosmic Game: Presidents @ Ionians
April 26, 2004
Atanasoff: Link to Game Report
Philosophers frequently exert influence on political leaders. Pericles had Anaxagoras, Dionysus II had Plato, Charles II was tutored in mathematics by Thomas Hobbes. In this cosmic game, the Ionians exerted superior skill. The Presidents had twelve hits but only two runs. The Ionians scored three runs on eight hits to win the contest. John Kennedy, in a losing effort, pitched a complete game without a strikeout. Computer scientist John Atanasoff pitched eight good innings and 20th century American philosopher John Dewey closed it out despite having to pitch around an error. Hegel and Turing had back to back homeruns; each also had an error. Coolidge got caught stealing; the Ionians turned two double-plays.

Link to Game Report

Cosmic Game: Pharmers @ Poetics
April 19, 2004
Prozac- Winning Pitcher
The avant-garde film movement is no stranger to meditations on suicide, depression, and obsession. One has only to think of Deren, Brahkage, and Anger, to connect the dots. Drugs and altered states of consciousness, once part of the underground culture are now the province of the major pharmaceutical companies. In discussing Stan Brakhage's film Anticipation of the Night, the astute Ken Kelman identifies the film as a "mental process." The film, after all, is a meditation on suicide.

This cosmic game, however, indicates that the large globalized drug manufacturers have indeed co-opted the small intriguing creative souls when it comes to discussions about depression, suicide, melancholy. The remarkable 17th century cleric Robert Burton has told us that it was his creative passion that soothed his discomforting and disquieting mental problems. Chemical compounds such as the benzodiazepines abate the fires and quell the sparks. This may not be the right course of action for the creative person.

Most of the runs in this game were sloppy...the result of errors. Ernie Gehr, Nardil and Zoloft all committed infield errors that resulted in runs. Mention should be made of Prozac who pitched a superb complete game that included eight strikeouts.

Link to Game Report

Cosmic Game: Mothers @ Capitalists
April 12, 2004
Murray Rothbard- GWRBI
Two doubles in the bottom of the eighth became the critical deciding points of this cosmic game. For those that like pitching contests, this game was for you. Seventeen strikeouts kept the bases mostly empty. There were only nine hits, although the two teams combined to leave thirteen runners stranded on the bases. Lillian Farmer, actress Frances Farmer's mother, pitched a superb nine innings, despite taking the loss. Twice in the eighth, on full count pitches, Farmer served up uncharacteristically fat fastballs. First, Steve Case, former AOL CEO, clobbered the pitch over the third base bag, just fair; he ended up at secondbase. Then Murray Rothbard, distinguished capitalist economic theorist, pinch hit a double deep into left field and Case crossed the plate scoring the only run of the game.

Link to Game Report

Cosmic Game: Dragons @ B'Stormers
April 5, 2004
Link to Game Plate
The B'Stormers gave their beloved four-legged rookie pitcher a comforatble lead from the get go. B'Stormer phenom Josephine Myrtle Corbin gets the win. Corbin gave up one run, scattered seven hits, served up three walks and struck out seven. Three of Corbin's Ks belong to avant-garde composer Phillip Glass. The only Dragon run came in the third inning when electronica musician Wendy Carlos snapped a double up the middle scoring former rock musician Don Van Vliet who was on first because of his dribbler to short catching the walked Russian composer Mikhail Glinka in a 6-4 forceout.

Link to Game Report

Major League Baseball 2004
March 29, 2004
Steroids: A Pox on the Game
Major League Baseball starts its 2004 season in Japan when the Yankees and the Devil Rays play two games on March 30 and 31. MLB's calendar indicates that the official "opening day" is April 5. The All Star game will be played in Houston on July 13. The regular playing season will end October 3; the playoffs will begin October 5. The American and National League Championship Series will start on October 12. The 2004 World Series will start on October 23...PREDICTION Scholars at the Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance (COBRA) are predicting the Boston Red Sox of the American League will win the 2004 World Series. The odds controlled by karma would argue against that prediction, but statistical odds suggest the possibility...SPRING TRAINING  2004 Spring Training game attendance is up over 17% in Florida. Average attendance figures rose from 5,105 to 5,978 per game...STEROIDS  Should Mark McGwire's 1998 season home run record (70) have an asterisk? How about Barry Bonds' 2001 home run record (73)? Are all of baseball's recent statistics skewed by the players' use of performance-enhancing drugs? It's a problem that exposes Major League Baseball's hypocrisy. The excitement generated by these home run records also generates profits...ECONOMICS  The Yankees will again have the highest payroll in baseball. Last year, Steinbrenner paid nearly $12 million in luxury taxes; he's playing by the rules, so don't wail on him. ..CODA Major League Baseball is a sport controlled by greed; its connections to the spiritual aspects of the game get more and more tenuous each season.

Cosmic Game: Beats @ Ionians
March 28, 2004
Link to Game Report
Art and Science. The two cultures. This game between individuals associated with the Beat Generation movement in the 1940s and 1950s and men of science and philosophy had all the tension one would expect. All of the offensive issues were taken care of by the completion of the second inning. The Ionians had more hits (by two), but less runs (by one). Computer scientist and Ionian pitcher Robert Atanasoff's six strikeouts were cancelled out by the six walks he served up, three of them to Beat poet hipster Charles Plymell. Plymell scored one run and so did Herbert Huncke, the Beats' heroin poet of a catcher in the wry. Immanuel Kant, inventor of the "Categorical Imperative" machine and veteran Ionian centerfielder accounted for the only Ionian run in the game. William Burroughs picked up the win and the long lost Lew Welch secured the save.

Link to Game Report

Link to News Archives News Index

top CBA menu
CBA News & Information Archive Plate
Archived: April 30, 2004