Archived News & Information Archived March 31, 2002

Archived News Items

March 27, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Player
Milton Berle, Former Superba Pitcher, Passes Away
Milton Berle: 1932/1999
Former cosmic baseball pitcher and renowned American comedian Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger) died on Wednesday March 27. He was 93 years old. Berle joined the Cosmic Baseball Association as a rookie pitcher in 1983 when the Telecity Superbas drafted him out of the Jewish Comics League. He played 16 seasons before being deactivated at the end of the 1998 season.

Berle was born in New York City on July 12, 1908. He was the fourth of five children of Moses and Sarah Glantz Berlinger. As noted in the Internet Movie Database among other places, Berle was reputed to have an extraordinarily large penis. He was married five times to four women. His first marriage to actress Beryl Wallace ended in divorce. He married Joyce Matthews, a showgirl, twice (1941, 1949) and had two children with her. Both marriages to Matthews ended in divorce. His marriage (1953-1989) to third wife, Ruth Cosgrove a Hollywood press agent, included two children and ended when Cosgrove died. In 1992 when he was in his 80s, Berle married his fourth wife, fashion designer Lorna Adams (she was 52).

Berle broke into entertainment on the Vaudeville stage. He made his "adult" film debut in 1937 and had mostly small roles in a variety of films including the gangster parody Tall, Dark and Handsome (1942) where he played Frosty. Berle was one of the first comedians to migrate to television. By the end of the 1940s, he was an established television personality. In the early 1950s he was dubbed "Mr. Television" and "Uncle Miltie" for his success as the host and star of Texaco Star Theater (1948-1956) an early variety/comedy television show. Berle, by the way, was the first man to wear a woman's dress on television. In 1991, Berle was the first inductee into the International Comedy Hall of Fame. In 1996, he was given the American Comedy Lifetime Achievement Award.

As a cosmic baseball pitcher Milton Berle was tireless. He pitched more than 150 innings per season for fourteen seasons including 239 innings in his last season.

Goodbye Uncle Miltie.

Official Cosmic Baseball Record

March 24, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Game
Bhutan Vanguards @ Delta Dragons: Middleleague Game Report
Link to Game Report
Artists and musicians always put on a good show on the cosmic baseball playing field. Despite the fact that the Bhutan Vanguards (Artists) and the Delta Dragons (Musicians) rarely do well against other Middleleague teams, they always play a couple of notches above their usual when they face off against each other. This game was no different. See the Game Report.

March 23, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Chronology
Cosmic Baseball Association Chronology Updated
Link to CBA Chronology Plate
The Official Chronology of the Cosmic Baseball Association has been updated through the year 2001. The CBA Chronology is maintained by the Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance's (COBRA) History Committee. Established in 1981, the history of the Cosmic Baseball Association is a distinct field of study for COBRA Scholars. The Chronology is a useful resource for these individuals.

March 18, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Statistics
CBASE 2002- Cosmic Player Summary Records
Link to CBASE 2002

Link to CBASE 2002

Link to CBASE 2002

Link to CBASE 2002

Link to CBASE 2002

Link to CBASE 2002

CBASE is the Cosmic Baseball Association's comprehensive statistical/biographical database. Under construction for over twenty years, CBASE tracks a wide variety of data on the various cosmic baseball leagues, teams, and players.

CBASE 2002, which is now online, represents one segment of the larger database. CBASE 2002 includes career summary records for all cosmic players, active and inactive, since the first cosmic baseball season in 1981.

CBASE 2002 visitors and users can browse through the records alphabetically or search for specific cosmic baseball players. In addition to providing the names of all past and present cosmic baseball players, summary statistical data for batters and pitchers is organized in tabular form. Cosmic Batter data includes Number of Seasons, Career At Bats, Career Homeruns and Career Batting Average. Cosmic Pitcher data includes Number of Seasons, Career Innings Pitched, Career Won/Lost Record and Career Earned Run Average.

Related Links

March 17, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Players
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Season 2002 Cosmic Player Plate
Link to Longfellow Plate
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was America's first professional poet. Longfellow was so popular and successful at writing poetry that he was able to give up his teaching job at Harvard University when he was 47 years old. He devoted himself exclusively to writing and publishing his work.

For some reason his popularity declined after his death and in the 20th Century his work was frequently ignored as too simplisitc and didactic. However, not many American poets have three statues or busts in existence. Longfellow has been honored with a statue in his home town of Portland (Maine), another exists in Cambridge (Massachusetts) and a third honors him in Washington, D.C.

Longellow is an outfielder with the Paradise Pisces. Longfellow was born February 27,1807.

Related Links

March 15, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Association Season 2002
Cosmic Baseball Season 2002 Begins
Link to Season 2002 Main Plate
The 21st Cosmic Baseball Association Season got underway today. 24 Cosmic Baseball Teams will compete in 3 cosmic baseball leagues utilizing over 600 Cosmic Baseball Players playing a 162-game schedule.

The Season 2002 Opening Cosmic Baseball Game was played between two Overleague teams: the Wonderland Warriors and the Paradise Pisces.

Related Links

March 12, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Games
Season 2002 Jack Kerouac Memorial Cosmic Baseball Game
Link to Game Report
Jack Kerouac
Dharma Beat
Jack Kerouac, had he lived, would be celebrating his 80th birthday today. The American writer and founder of the Beat Generation movement died too young in 1969.Each season the Cosmic Baseball Association remembers and honors this important writer with a cosmic baseball game. This season Kerouac family members play against a team of biographers, memoirists and other writers who have published work on Kerouac.

Kerouac also plays left field for the Dharma Beats, a team of Beat Generation personalities in the Cosmic Overleague.

Related Link

March 10, 2002
Cosmic Baseball Players
Lavinia Fontana 2002 Cosmic Player Plate
Link to Lavinia Fontana Plate
Lavinia Fontana
The Italian artist Lavinia Fontana has been pitching for the Bhutan Vanguards, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of artists, for three seasons. She was the daughter of a minor Mannerist artist from Bologna. Fontana is notable in the history of art for being the first woman to support herself and her family through her art. She managed to have eleven children in addition to creating paintings for such patrons as two Popes.

Related Link

March 4, 2002
Cosmic Baseball General Managers
Bo Belinsky Named Woodsox General Manager
Bo Belinsky
Bo Belinsky
With less than two weeks to go before the start of the regular season, the Psychedelphia Woodsox terminated Judge Julius Hofmann as the team's General Manager and signed Bo Belinsky, a former Major League southpaw pitcher. (Hofmann had been the team's GM since 1999 when he replaced Robert F. Kennedy.) In fact, Belinsky becomes the first reality baseball player to land on a Cosmic Baseball Association team roster, in any capacity. The Woodsox, a team of personalities from the 1960s, compete in the Cosmic Middleleague.

Robert Belinsky was born in 1936 in New York City. His mother was a Russian Jew, his father a Polish Catholic. Belinsky entered the Major Leagues in 1962 after spending six years in the minors. He became a rookie sensation on May 5, 1962 when he pitched a no-hitter for the Los Angeles Angels against the visiting Baltimore Orioles. He played for eight seasons in the Major Leagues compiling undistinguished career statistics: 28 wins, 51 losses with an earned run average of 4.10 runs per nine innings. He pitched in 665 innings for five different teams. His career ended during the 1970 season. (Belinsky threw a second no-hitter while doing a stint pitching minor league baseball in 1968 in Hawaii.)

After his baseball career, Belinsky became dependent on drugs and alcohol. He later claimed to have remained sober since 1976. In the 1990s he lived in Las Vegas where he worked for a car dealer. After being diagnosed with bladder cancer in 1998, Belinsky underwent a religious conversion and became a born again Christian. He died from heart failure on November 22, 2001 in his Las Vegas home.

In 1956 while deciding to sign his first minor league contract with the Baltimore Orioles to play for their D Class minor league affiliate in Brunswick, Georgia (for $185 a month), Belinsky recalled pulling out a map and looking for the town,

I saw that it was on the ocean. I figured it would be a kick. What the hell else was I doing? I think I was working in an overalls factory that day, shooting pool, fooling with the broads. I always liked older broads. I was eighteen, nineteen, and I would take out these twenty-two-, twenty-three-year-old broads. They used to make me laugh, though. You could fuck them in a car. That was okay, but if you mentioned a motel to them, they'd go out of their minds. Anyway, I figured baseball would be just as good as the overalls factory.

Belinsky Autograph Related Links



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Archived: March 31, 2002
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