The Vestal Virgins, representing the Cosmic Overleague, defeated the Bolex Poetics of the Cosmic Middleleague, 7-6, in the Annual Valentine's Day Pre-Season Cosmic Baseball Game. While sloppy fielding is not uncommon in early pre-season games, the Poetics took sloppiness to a new level by committing 11 fielding errors. Of the seven Virgin runs, only four were earned. Rookie Virgin Annie De Franco started at thirdbase and went one for four. Poetics rightfielder Hollis Frampton smacked two homeruns and collected four RBIs. Frampton also committed four errors in rightfield. Virgin starter Sylvia Plath pitched 8 strong innings, but got no decision. The Poetics used five pitchers.
Historically the annual Valentine's Game is imbued with mirth and frivolity. This year's ritual lacked some of the good humor of past games. A seriousness seemed to hang over the game and some bitterness actually leaked out when Poetics thirdbaseman Dziga Vertov had an angry exchange of words with Virgin centerfielder Helena Blavatsky. Chief Guest Umpire, George Bataille had to get between the two cosmic baseball players to settle things down. Come on folks, where's the love?
After all, Valentine's Day is supposed to be about love. Which makes it ironic that Virgin firstbasewoman Valerie Solanas was the game's Most Cosmic Player (MCP). Despite her reputation for anti-male behavior, Solanas just played the game without incident.
The origins of Valentine's day and the identity of Saint Valentine himself has been obscured over time. This quasi-holiday as currently celebrated is most likely a Christian adjustment to the Roman Festival of Lupercal. The pagan celebration, rooted in early tribal fertility rituals, honored the Roman god Pan and took place where the legendary founders of Rome, Romulus & Remus, were nursed by a she-wolf. During the festival young boys from the aristocracy would run around and slap or hit members of the crowd with a whip or sheath of goat skin known as a februa. Getting whipped by the mostly naked Lupercii was considered a sign of good luck, especially in the area of fertility. Christian theologists likely conceived of Valentine's Day as a distraction from the pagan rite. There are a number of theories as to the identity of Saint Valentine, but likely he's as real as the Roman god Pan, who was also celebrated during Lupercalia.
This blending of love and procreation, found in the history of Valentine's Day and its probable origin in the Roman fertility festival, is one reason the Cosmic Baseball Association honors the day with its annual Valentine's Day Pre-Season Cosmic Baseball Game. Like the ancient Roman Lupercalia, this game honors the impending birth of another new season. And, in the tradition of Valentine's Day, we express our love for the game of love.
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