Psychedelphia Woodsox @ Heartland Capitalists

A Middleleague Cosmic Game Report

June 10, 2001

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Is The Future Back There?

In 1960, the average age of today's starting Heartland Capitalists was 9.7 years. (The Captialists are the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of business people.) Two of the starting Capitalists, Jeff Bezos and Michael Dell, were not even born. At the end of that decade, in 1969, the average age of today's Capitalist starter was 18.7 years.

In the last couple of years the Capitalists have focused on selecting rookies from the young captains of technology pool. Five of the Capitalist starters of today are under the age of 50. It looks as though the so-called "baby-boomers" are becoming the dominant group on the team. But this youth movement doesn't seem to have made the team better, only worse.

There seems to be a downside to the great wealth of these technology capitalists. Their material success has been achieved at, what some would say, too high a price. Or, put another way, it is the children who have had to pay the price.

In the eight years between 1990 and 1998 the children of the baby-boomers increased their drug use by 6.2%. Over half of the nation's 12th graders are getting stoned, giving new meaning to the concept of high school. How does this correlate with the statistic that in 1996 U.S. high school seniors ranked 19th of 21 nations in math achievement? Some things are connected and interconnected, some things are not. Do these fragmentary facts and figures account for the Capitalists' recent slide into the basement of the Middleleague?

On the other side of the coin is the Psychedelphia Woodstockings, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of individuals active in the 1960s. These days the "1960s" are more a moral concept than a chronological section of recent history. Historically the Woodsox have not been one of the stellar performing teams in the Middleleague. However, rather suddenly last season, something coalesced on this team of very individualistic players. The collective functioned like a mechanism in perfect synchronization. The Woodsox won the Middleleague pennant and made their first trip to the Cosmic Universal Series. So far this season, while the Capitalists languish in the cellar, the Woodsox are once again the top team in their league.

We are always mindful of the so-called cosmic resonances between events. So we wonder if the result of this particular cosmic game has significance in a wider context. Could the Woodsox defeat of the Capitalists in this one isolated game be an indicator of something more profound? Could the fact that the Woodsox are dominant in the Middleleague suggest some cultural sea change is afoot?

We have a number of Cosmic Baseball Research Alliance (COBRA) scholars looking into these matters. Preliminary reports suggest that if you look at this game closely some important events and individuals stand out. While no definite conclusions have been reached, we do know that a sub-group of researchers is looking closely at the play of Oscar Janiger, the game's Most Cosmic Player.

The facts and the details are here in this cosmic game report for anyone to analyze. Draw your own conclusions. Will the rich keep getting richer...will the stoners keep getting stoned...will the poor and the meek escape the flaws in the state's laws of inheritance...will the free copy right be banned for good by the intellectual property scriveners on behalf of greedy clients who have as much to do with the original and inspired act of creation as my ex-mother-in-law had on the birth of my children?

Let's just play ball, one way or another, with each other.


Woodsox Win, 8-5


Woodsox 2001 Roster

Capitalists 2001 Roster




Cosmic Games Index

Game Data

Homeruns   Oscar Janiger, Larry Ellison, Lee Iacocca
Triples   None
Doubles   Janiger, Angela Davis, Lee Harvey Oswald, Ho Chi Minh, Philip Knight
Stolen Bases   None
Caught Stealing   None
Double Plays   Woodsox-0; Capitalists-1
Errors   None
Left-on-Base   Woodsox-6; Capitalists-9

Game Most Cosmic Player

Oscar Janiger

Umpires    Theodore Roszak, Theodore Sorensen, Theodore White
Time   3 hours 15 minutes
Attendance   18,052
Weather   Fair, Cool 54o F.
Official Scorer   Paul Krassner

Simulation   115

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Middleleague Cosmic Game Report- Woodsox @ Capitalists
Published: June 11, 2001
Copyright © 2001 by the Cosmic Baseball Association