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January 30, 2005

Non-Humanoid's Want Another Team

Non-Humanoid Activism

Non-Humanoid Activism


Non-Humanoid Activism
Outgoing Non-Humanoid Players Association Executive Director Electric Toaster sent a letter to the Cosmic Baseball Association urging the CBA to consider a Non-Humanoid team to replace the recently deactivated Bigtopia Barnumstormers. (The B'Stormers are a humanoid team.) The NHPA has, in recent years, taken a more activist stance with regard to non-humanoid player advocacy. After the CBA contracted in 2004, only one non-humanoid team existed, the newly formed New Ceutical City Pharmers (a team of prescription drugs.)

The Electric Toaster will be replaced as executive director of the NHPA on March 1 by the Apache Helicopter. NHPA's executive directors can only serve one four year term. Helicopter narrowly defeated the Crescent Wrench in a hotly contested election last December. Helicopter represents the more activist, some would say, extreme wing, of the NHPA. But the Helicopter has not made any public comments since the election.

There have been seventeen non-humanoid cosmic baseball teams in CBA's history. No non-humanoid team has ever won the Cosmic Universal Series, although the most successful non-humanoid team, the Tropicland Hurricanes reached the CUS twice.

January 29, 2005

Lucien Carr, Beat Shortstop, Dies

Lucien Carr, 2003
Lucien Carr, born March 1, 1925 in St. Louis, Missouri died yesterday in Washington, D.C. Mr. Carr was, for 47 years, employed by the United Press International news organization. Hired as a copy boy in 1946 he became a night news editor ten years later. When he retired in 1993 he was a general news desk editor.

Carr has been described as the "soul of UPI" and a "towering figure in journalism." A former UPI managing editor called Carr "the absolute best newsman I ever knew." When asked what the favorite news story of his career was, Carr answered the 1969 Apollo moon landing.

Carr joined the news wire service just after completing a two year sentence at the Elmira Reformatory in New York state. He had been sentenced in October, 1944 for the August 14 first degree manslaughter of David Kammerer. This unfortunate occurrence, was also a landmark event in the history of the Beat Generation, of which Carr was a principal founder.

Allen Ginsberg met Lucien Carr at Columbia University when both were students there. Ginsberg called Carr, "the most angelic looking kid I ever saw, with blond hair." In late 1943 Carr met Edie Parker, who at the time was Jack Kerouac's girlfriend. (Parker would become Kerouac's first of three wives, in large part because of the Kammerer crime.) Parker introduced Carr to Kerouac. Carr introduced Kerouac to Ginsberg. And Carr introduced Kerouac and Ginsberg to his St. Louis friend William S. Burroughs. These four, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Burroughs, and Carr were the Carr, 1940s founders of the cultural and literary movement known as the Beat Generation. Carr and Ginsberg, influenced by Rimbaud and Yeats, had already been discussing their "New Vision" before they met Kerouac. Carr's eccentric friend Burroughs had told them about Spengler's book Decline of the West. As the so-called Second World War progressed, these young college students, with Carr very much in the lead, explored and experimented with drugs, sexuality and general creativity. It was a tumultuous time.

Carr remained friends with his brother Beats although he never liked being mentioned in their books or poems. Carr asked Ginsberg to remove his name from the dedication in later editions of Howl and Other Poems. Nevertheless, he was a significant muse in their orbit. Kerouac's mysterious Old Angel Midnight went through several working titles, one of which was "Old Lucien Midnight." In an October, 1944 letter to Ginsberg, Kerouac wrote about his friend Lucien.

Lucien is different, or at least, his egocentricity is different; he hates himself intensely...Hating himself as he does, hating his human kindness he seeks new vision, a post human, post intelligence.
In a September, 1949 journal entry, Kerouac writes of a "Haunted Lucien." But by the late 1950s, despite occasional drinking reunions, Carr had left the "New Vision" behind. He did not attend Kerouac's funeral in Lowell in October, 1969.

He lived in New York City until 1983 when he moved with UPI to Washington, D.C. After retirement in 1993 he spent time sailing on the Chesapeake Bay. Carr leaves behind three sons and five grandchildren.

Lucien Carr at the CBA

Carr was an original member of the Dharma Beats, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of Beat-related individuals. He has for most of his career played in the infield. His corporeal death will have no effect on his participation in cosmic baseball affairs. Carr is expected to be the Beats starting shortstop for the 2005 Cosmic Baseball Season.

Lucien Carr 1997 Cosmic Baseball Player Plate

Lucien Carr Official Batting Record
Lucien Carr 1997 Cosmic Baseball Player Plate


January 24, 2005

Bigtopia Barnumstormers Are Deactivated

Link to B'Stormers Index Phineas T. Barnum brought the Bigtopia Barnumstormers to the Cosmic Baseball Association in 1997. From the first, the team and its owner were controversial. The various freaks that Barnum had assembled made for a curious sight on the cosmic baseball field. Their first season was the best season for the B'Stormers. In only two other seasons did they play .500 or better baseball and they never made it to the Cosmic Universal Series.

Over the very strong objections of Barnum, the Bigtopia Barnumstormers have been, effective today, deactivated from the Lower League. Therefore the B'Stormers will not play cosmic baseball during the 2005 season.

A replacement team is expected to be announced by the end of this month. Under the circumstances, the CBA can either activate an existing cosmic baseball team or accept an entirely new team into the Lower League.

Bigtopia Barnumstormers
Official Cosmic Baseball Record
B'Stormers Index


January 23, 2005

Johnny Carson- Former Superba Is Dead

Johnny Carson From the fall of 1962 until the spring of 1992, Johnny Carson was part of the American fabric by virtue of his hosting of the very popular late night television talk show, "The Tonight Show." Carson was part Will Rogers, part important star-maker, and part shrewd entertainment business man.

Carson died this morning at his home in Malibu, California from complications related to emphysema. Since retiring from television on May 22, 1992 Carson kept a low profile only occasionally appearing in the media.

Carson was drafted by the Telecity Superbas, the Cosmic Baseball Association's team of television personalities in December, 1990. He pitched his first game on April 4, 1991. In thirteen seasons with the Superbas, Carson compiled a respectable, better-than-average pitching record. He won ten more games then he lost.

Our condolences go out to the family and friends of this great American entertainer.

Johnny Carson
Official Cosmic Baseball Pitching Record


January 16, 2005

New Jack Kerouac Books

Link to CBA's Kerouac Chronology Plate Jack Kerouac is an outfielder with the Dharma Beats, a cosmic baseball team.

During 2004 at least two new books about Jack Kerouac were published. One was an edited publication of the notebooks Kerouac kept between 1947 and 1954. This period precedes the fame Kerouac achieved in 1957 with the publication of On The Road. However, it covers the period during which that novel was written and re-written. Historian Douglas Brinkley, with the approval of the Kerouac Literary Estate, edited Windblown World, the first published volume of Kerouac's notebooks and journals. Brinkley provides a seventeen page introduction that does not add much to the known Kerouac historical record. Reportedly, Brinkley is working on an "authorized" biography of Kerouac, due sometime in 2007.

The other book, Kerouac: The Definitive Biography by Paul Maher, Jr. is a 557 page tome that some are calling more hagiography than biography. Maher's book has a foreword by the musician David Amram who knew Kerouac during the 1950s in New York. The cover of our copy of the book has a quote from Kerouac Estate Literary Executor, John Sampas: "Finally a nonfiction biography on Jack Kerouac." Considering that there are a number of Kerouac biographies, actually a remarkable number, Kerouac only died in 1969, Mr. Sampas seems to be taking an unnecessary swipe at prior Kerouac research.

In the notebooks there is an interesting entry whereby Kerouac equates his artistic output, the number of pages he creates a day, to a baseball average. He specifically invokes Boston Red sox slugger Ted Williams. On Thursday, June 3, 1948, Kerouac wrote in one of his journals the following (Brinkley, p.89):

Still sick as a dog but working. Did 24 pages today. I worked out an intricate mathematical thing which determines how assiduously I'm getting my novel typed and revised day after the day. It's too complicated and mad to explain, but suffice it to say that yesterday I was batting .246 and after today's work my "batting average" rose to .306. The point is, I've got to hit like a champion, I've got to catch up and stay with Ted Williams (currently hitting .392 in baseball). If I can catch him, and stay with him, the month of June will be the final month of work on Town & City. But the absorbing thing is that I can't possibly bat that high (.392) without toiling like a fiend (and that's the whole point of my little game.) So it's .306 for now, and depend on it that I'll suffer a batting slump over the weekends, because the days themselves figure in the formula (30 days of June), and during the weeks I'll always fatten my figure. To stay over .300 is of course essential in the big I'm doing O.K. as of now, anyway...(for an outfielder.)
From the Maher biography we have reports of Kerouac playing his imaginary baseball game from childhood into adulthood. As late as 1964, when Kerouac is 42 he can be found playing his baseball game in his bedroom in Northport (Maher, page 443). As for "definitive," what exactly does that mean in terms of a biography? Brinkley's biography will be the "authorized" biography. In the case of "authorized" we know that it is the Kerouac Estate that is the authorizing agency. How is Maher's contribution "definitive"?

On August 18, 2004, Mr. Maher posted a message to a website explaining the use of the word "definitive" in the title of his book:

Lastly, and for the record, the "definitive" part of my title isn't mine, it belongs to the sales reps and marketing geniuses of my publisher...
But of all the biographies, past, present and future, which is or will be the best?


January 10, 2005

Link to 2005 Survey of Visitors

2005 Survey of Visitors

A short ten-question survey asking visitors about their experience at the CBA website is now online. The 2005 Survey of Visitors is a concerted attempt to find out what visitors think about the website. The survey will be online for at least the next thirty days. It takes approximately five minutes to complete the survey. A report on the results of the survey will be completed sometime in the Spring.


January 3, 2005

Dee Baskerville Reed

Dee Baskerville Reed Named to Board

The Board of Directors of the Cosmic Baseball Association elected Dee Baskerville Reed to the Board at a special session convened on New Year's Day. Ms. Reed is a longtime member and friend of the CBA. Born and raised in South Hill, Virginia, Ms. Reed spent part of her adult life in the New England area where she became a powerful and passionate Boston Red Sox fan. She later returned to Virginia where she has made a very delightful life for herself.


January 2, 2005

2004 Prozac Player Plate

Prozac Controversy Resurfaces

The anti-depressant, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and cosmic baseball pitcher Prozac (fluoxetine hydrochloride), has again become the subject of controversy. First marketed by the Eli Lilly pharmaceutical company in 1987, the drug has periodically been at the focus of debate with regard to its safety. There have been claims that Prozac can contribute to suicidal and violent behavior. In 1989 Joseph Wesbecker shot and killed eight people, wounded another 12 and then shot himself dead at a printing plant in Louisville, Kentucky. Wesbecker was taking Prozac and in 1994 relatives of his victims started a civil lawsuit against Eli Lilly. Reports of Prozac's potential dangers to children and teenagers have also surfaced over the years. Eli Lilly has been accused of suppressing research that suggests Prozac may increase suicidal thinking and behavior in young people. In its January issue, the British Medical Journal says it has turned over confidential documents, once presumed lost, to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The documents, according to the medical journal, would indicate that the drug manufacturer knew but did not disclose risks associated with taking Prozac. A spokesman for the drug company said,
Lilly is committed to the public disclosure of all clinical trial data to ensure that healthcare professionals and families have the information they need to make informed treatment decisions about Lilly medicines. "Prozac has been prescribed for more than 50m people worldwide and is one of the most studied drugs in the history of medicine.

Prozac is a starting pitcher for the New Ceutical City Pharmers who compete in the CBA's Lower League.

January 1, 2005

Happy New Year

The staff of the Cosmic Baseball Association would like to wish our members and friends a happy and healthy New Year. As we celebrate this New Year we ask you also to pause a moment to remember the latest victims of nature in Indonesia and elsewhere. Their loss is incomprehensible. On behalf of our members and friends, the Foundation of the Cosmic Baseball Association will shortly make a donation to an appropriate relief fund.


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Published: January 30, 2005